Watch Out For Wheels

Listen up!

For the few of you working on America’s birthday, be triple careful around those little clear paths out there.

I know it’s tempting to follow a clear road in the dirt, but those tracks were made by wheels. Ice cream cart wheels to be precise. Complete with kids stomping around and drips of ice cold cream falling on your heads.

The only thing more terrifying than getting frozen in ice cream out there is the scorpions. And we’ve got enough of those to last a lifetime.

Stay safe out there. God bless, and happy birthday America, you beautiful bastard.